My Boy Berto

Berto. Berto is a kid who has my heart. I had the privilege of hanging out with him and many of the other severe and profound children. Berto is precious. He may not be able to talk, walk, or even smile all that well. But he has my heart. I love him. I got to hold him, sing to him and pray over him. It was an incredible experience and a fantastic way to spend my morning.

Later in the morning, I headed to the birdcage with Heather had told me that we had a new sweet little girl who was entering the Outreach Program. I walked over and saw this adorable little girl. It appears that most of her disability is in her legs, as when I was introduced to this precious little girl she replied with, “Bonswa Allyson”. This melted my heart. And made me really excited for Monday.

Prayer request: originally this little girls family came to try and give this amazing little thing away to the Miriam Center. However, we had to say no because we simply do not have the resources and are stretched beyond the max already. We were able to give her sister and aunt who brought her so children’s oatmeal, diapers and things. Please, please, please pray that with this help and being enrolled in our Outreach Program for therapy once a week, that they decide to keep her and I see her on Monday!

After this eventful morning I went up for lunch and afterwards hung out with Kelsey and talked. I absolutely love this girl. We get along so well. We had a great conversation about life, support for our trips, and things from back home. We also had a great in depth conversation about our feelings towards handouts and how this draws a dependence for those receiving them. The mission aims really hard at not simply giving away things to prevent this, but Kelsey and I had a really great time discussing things that could be implemented farther. I am so blessed by this girl. I am so thankful to have her here.

Outreach this afternoon was great! We had a just two kids so Autumn and I were able to go about this one on one. Also, real cool fact: a guy from one of the group’s here has a passion for filming. He has been shooting interview and shots to try to put together into a short documentary of sorts to raise awareness for the Miriam Center. Hopefully with things like this all of our kids will be sponsored.

The Haitian market was held at the mission today as well. I was able to buy several things for friends and family back home. I am excited about many of them! This was also able to help some of the local venders support their family, which is a great idea! One of the kids that I bought from was Kaby. He is the same boy that I bought some bracelets from a couple of weeks ago. We have started to develop a small friendship. It is my prayer that this will continue to develop so that I can ask more in depth questions concerning his relationship with the Lord. Please pray for this as well.

The American groups leave tonight at midnight (the poor group that is traveling the six plus hours to Port au Prince) and then six in the morning (for the group that is flying). This means that we will hopefully be able to have generator on until midnight! Whoop! We are currently watching a movie with AIR CONDITIONING in the staff lounge while eating these delicious Nutella, chocolate chip and fudge brownies that Katelyn made us. Yes she will be attending culinary school in the fall.

This week has been absolutely incredible, but I am ready for a bit of a slower pace this weekend before the next group comes in. We have some big plans in place because it is Logan’s (one of the other interns) 22nd birthday on Saturday! It should be a fantastic couple of days and I am greatly looking forward to it!

“…Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-29

Exactly What I Needed

I am continually amazed at how encouraging God can be for us at time. Today marked just two weeks until I have to leave this incredibly place that has stolen my heart. As you can imagine, I was a little upset by this. Even though I had an awesome quiet time and a fabulous morning at Bonneau, I was still constantly reminded that I only have 14 days here and that was making me a bit sad.

Yet as a daughter of the King, He always seems to know when to bring me comfort, support and encouragement in my times of need. This started while at Bonneau, a woman came down to the playground with two ice chests filled with sloppy buns (Haitian popsicles). These were so great! They came in flavors of coke, strawberry, mango and coconut. They were also only 5 for a dollar so we were able to buy one for each of the kids. I was even able to enjoy a coconut one myself! There were so sweet, but more importantly…THEY WERE COLD! It was fantastic!

Upon getting back from our trip to Bonneau, I ate with Justin and lunch. He had gone down to talk with Autumn, Stephanie and Heather. Stephanie had apparently told them about me purchasing the popsicles for the kids, and Justin brought up money to pay me back and offered to buy me a Coke. He also thanked me for all the work and love I show the kids. It was such an uplifting thing to hear!

After this load of encouragement at lunch, it was time for Outreach were I was able to work one on one with a little girl. I had her do exercises working to strengthen her neck and stomach muscles for her to be able to try and sit up on her own or crawl one day. It was such a cool experience. Autumn was right there working with another girl if I ever needed anything and gave me a few pointers, but even when I wasn’t sure what I was doing for sure at time, Autumn said I was doing a great job! It was such a wonderful experience!

When we had finished Outreach I walked outside to find that a group was washing the feet of ALL of the Miriam Center workers, Haitian and American, so they pulled me over. I have washed the feet of others before but I have never received such a loving act before personally. I felt so cared for and appreciated. It was pretty cool.

I sat next to Stephanie, Autumn and Heather during this and they asked me if I was planning on coming back next summer. It felt so great to hear them ask this and that they were actually hoping I would say yes. Which I did. Without hesitating.

Later on this afternoon, Kelsey and I went to Autumn’s room to get a snack. Earlier in the day Autumn had invited me to her house for nuts since she can’t eat them. Kelsey had not eaten lunch since her group went to Tortuga, so I invited her along. While we were snacking and talking with this incredible woman of the Lord, not only were we offered Strawberry Poptarts (awesome) but Autumn informed me that she, Stephanie, and Heather are planning on treating me to the restaurant on Saturday. I have heard many things about this place called the Breeze, all good, so I can’t wait to spend this time with them eating incredible food in a couple of days. I feel so blessed to be treated so well and truly encouraged so much in such incredible community here. If any of you are reading this, I really appreciate it and I love you all so much!

The rest of the day continued on fairly uneventful, with the exception of the massive spider that accompanied me in my shower. I NEVER took my eyes off of it as it sat on a water pipe a few feet against the tiles on the backwall. NO JOKE. It was the size of my hand and certainly the largest spider I have ever seen that has not been behind some sort of glass at a zoo enclosure. It was freaky. Upon getting out of this dreadful shower, I informed my friend Kelsey of my gruesome discovery. Kelsey was determined to kill this thing even after I described its size. She walked into the bathroom with me and Tore a far distance behind her as she carried a mere flipflop in her hand. When she saw the spider she scream before turning and running away. We had to get another brace soul to actually kill the thing. I am just glad that it is dead now and will not be disturbing me any longer. I just pray that I don’t have any dreams of something crawling on me tonight. Ew.

My last moment of encouragement today, as I was writing this blog Autumn came over to me and handed me chocolate candy (which I had been craving) and said, “for being the best intern ever”. Thanks Autumn!

My God is so faithful and supplies me with exactly what I need to keep going, even when I am saddened to be leaving so soon, yet also homesick (conflicting feelings I know). Today I really needed some encouragement though, and that was exactly what He provided me with. Thank you Lord!

Prayer request: a lot of people are getting sick here. One of the kids here is thought to have strep, another girl was just carried from the girls bathroom by two guys on her team because she was throwing up in the there. Plus the Miriam Center kids are on the home stretch of getting over a fever, runny nose and difficulty breathing. I myself am not feeling all too great. I mean alright, but not awesome. So please be praying for that.

Thanks and good night

Prayer. Period.

Prayer. Prayer is a powerful thing. Sometimes I can easily forget this though. But prayer can do huge things.

Today was one of those days, where even in my mist of doubting God, He is faithful and loving and shows me answered prayers in the most beautiful and comforting ways.

As many of you reading this probably know, I have a friend named Caleb who was involved in a ski accident on January 5th. He hit his head on a tree and suffered a large amount of bruising Initially it was uncertain if he would make it through surgery the night of his accident to relieve pressure on his brain. Over the last five months and 3 weeks we received news of Caleb has oxygen levels that are far to low, Caleb’s eyes aren’t open, Caleb has not begun to talk, Caleb may not walk, Caleb is struggling with separating his dreams from reality.

I can still distinctly remember hearing news of Caleb’s accident while I was in Atlanta. Later that night I was with two of my friends Kat and Shelby. It was then that I realized with these two, that all I could do was pray. No matter how much I wanted to be able to fix Caleb or take back what happened or allow him to survive his surgery that night, all I could do is pray.

But I have come to realize that I hate that phrase “All I Can Do is Pray” because in reality all we should ever do is pray in situations like that and many others. Our God is the creator of the universe. Our God gives us the breath of life and allows us to wake up every morning. Our God is the God who tells the wind which was to blown and the rain where to fall. Our God is Almighty, all powerful, and our God is in control of it all.

So in reality that night and in the months to follow, I COULD pray. I could pray and ask my Father in Heaven who has Caleb’s and all of our lives in his hands for complete healing.

I could pray. And pray I did. These last 5 months and three weeks have taught be more about prayer and grown my prayer life more than anything. I will admit that there were times when I certainly began to doubt if Caleb would ever wake up, ever talk, ever walk, ever remember. There were times when my faith began to dwindle. There were moments throughout these last five months and 3 weeks that I doubted that the Lord would heal Caleb.

Thankfully though, even in our doubts and dwindling hope, our God is faithful. It was been such an incredibly blessing to read progress of Caleb over the last months. To hear of his oxygen levels rise over night. On the 13th day for him to finally open his eyes. For him to be able to talk once his breathing tube was removed. In the last few weeks hearing stories from friends and his mom about him being able to separate dreams from reality.

And today, my friend Caleb, after 5 months and 3 weeks of a tough battle and truly because of the willingness and faithfulness of the Lord, walked out of Touchstone rehabilitation facility to go home and continue out patient therapy. Praise the Lord for He is good!

This afternoon after a morning of massage and music with the kids of the Miriam Center we had a staff prayer meeting after lunch. This prayer meeting held in the courtyard of the M.C. This meeting consisted of Haitian workers, translators, Autumn, Stephanie, and myself along with visitors from one of the American groups. This time of prayer was so beautiful and so great for my soul. It was such a blessing to see all of the staff: Haitian and American to come together as one unit to pray for the children, the staff, the building and movements forward in the future.

I left this time feeling uplifted and went up to my room to read Caleb’s Caring Bridge entry for the day that his parents post with updates. It was then that I had my true God moment of today. In this blog entry, Caleb’s mom had posted a verse, Jeremiah 31:13. “I will turn their mourning into joy. I will comfort them and exchange their sorrow for rejoicing.” If you have been following along on my blogs, this verse may be familiar to you.

This is because Jeremiah 31:13 is the verse painted on the walls of the Miriam Center. I have seen the Lord work in amazing ways these past few months in Caleb’s life and recovery. I have seen the power of prayer in the miracle He has done through my friend, but today was as though he were saying, “Look daughter, I can do miracles in all things, even here in Haiti.”

Our Lord is faithful. His love never fails. His will is for our good. He is the blesser and the Redeemer. The Beginning and the End. He will never abandon us, never harm us, never forsake us. Our God is faithful and true. Our God is powerful and protecting. Our God has us in his hands. Our God is healer and Father.

I can say that I have seen so many of these characteristics of our Lord in Caleb’s story. And it is my prayer that I will one day see these same qualities through what He has done here in Haiti and in the lives of the kids in the Miriam Center and special needs children all throughout the world. I hope that you will join me in this prayer.

Prayer is powerful. Just ask my friend Caleb.

”Never stop praying.” 1 Thessalonians 5:17

A Quick Introduction

Today seemed like it was about to get routine for me. I woke up, went to staff meeting, moved on to devotional, ate breakfast, spent time reading my Bible, headed downstairs to get kids ready, drove on the bus to Bonneau to go to the park with the Miriam Center kids, hung out at the park, got back on the bus, drove back to the mission, ate lunch, went to Outreach with Autumn, came upstairs, walked into a cake store in town, came back, did laundry, took a shower, ate dinner, headed up to devotionals, and now I am here.

My life here in Haiti has grown to become a “one thing after another” sort of schedule and lifestyle. But it is those moments when you start to get comfortable that God I feel can really move and show you so much.

Today I was overwhelmed on the ride home from Bonneau about these kids of the Miriam Center. Each and every one of them when I was asked by a boy in Kelsey’s group about which kids I have grown closest to. I was almost taken by surprise by this question in a way. I really had no idea how to answer this at first and I think it was mainly because I have grown to love so many of them as I hear each of their stories and seen their character.

The first two names I said were Niaka and Berto. I love these two so much which I feel is rather appropriate seeing as these sit next to one another in a stroller each day. These two have CP and neither of them can walk, sit up, or even communicate with words. But they can both show facial expressions, and they can both smile and laugh, and I can hold them and love them and pray over them both.

Then I said Steven and Joseph. Steven is who I hung out with mostly today at Bonneau and have really had the opportunity to get to know over the last week or so. Steven can not walk (yet), but crawls around on his knees and has braces on his legs. I had the chance earlier this week to help him walk by holding his hands for a rather large distance. Stevens smile is always so big! He knows how to communicate with sign and has signed “I love you” to me many times this week. Today on the ride back when I was asked this question, this little guy was in my lap. It was during this same ride, that he signed, “Jesus loves me. Jesus loves you.” I had a couple of tears in my eyes during this.

Joseph is one of the most kind hearted kids I know (when he isn’t the usual kid and acts out or gets upset). He is ALWAYS willing to help you in any way from carrying mattresses or taking our coke bottle to the recycling bin. The other night we had a movie night downstairs complete with Finding Nemo and popcorn. Joseph was handing out his own popcorn to make sure that everyone else had plenty. What a sweetheart!

Then Isaac came to mind: he was one of the first kids I met at the Miriam Center and always has a smile on his face. Isaac loves to play bowl and wants to hold your hand all the time! He had a cleft foot that had surgery performed on it not too long ago, but he still favors it has if nothing were ever done. Please continue to pray for him and progress in this. I love spending time with Isaac either sitting with him in the birdcage or kicking a ball around at front. He always makes these noises to try and communicate with you and these are sounds I have come to love and adore.

Next I thought of Den-Den. I didn’t meet him until my second day here, which is such a surprise considering how well I have home to know and love him now. Den-Den can understand some simple English that I say and always responds with “Yeah”(sometimes “wee”) or “No”. Den-Den is such a helper just like Joseph. The other day, I was busy feeding Berto and had been doing so for quite a while. I had left my backpack in the birdcage, and Den-Den carried it into the kitchen said, “Hey, hey” and then dropped it at my feet. I didn’t know it until the first week or so that I was here, but Den-Den is a miracle I can see with my own to eyes. Due to Den-Den’s diagnosis, he is not suppose to be able to walk. But when I first met him, Den-Den walked up to me. He has been able to walk for quite a while now, and while he is a little clumsy and uncertain in his steps sometimes, the Lord has definitely done a work in his life! Den-Den is absolutely a testament to me to the power of Lord.

Next I thought of T-Stephenson. I thought of how he has been through more than I could ever possibly imagine in his short little life. He is five years old, and never grew or developed. Today he still looks like an infant. When his mother realized that he wasn’t growing, she gave him up to a witch doctor who performed all sorts of rituals on him, including burning him. Today, T-Steve has all sorts of scares all over his body, but by the grace of God, Northwest Haiti Christian Mission was able to get him out of this situation and he is now loved and held everyday.

My mind then went to Joshua. Josh is my friend Kelsey’s favorite kid. Joshua is a miracle as well. Josh was found in the rubble seven days after the earthquake in Port-au-Prince over two years ago. Let me reiterate that for you so that it can sink in for you. A little boy with special needs was found in the rubble seven days after the quake. Seven days. Many people can not live without water after 3 or 4 days. Seven days. 168 hours later. Joshua is such a sweet boy and is always so joyful. He is a true miracle of the Lord and has my heart.

And those are just a few of the 46 kids of the Miriam Center. Just a few. They each have their own story. And they each have their own personality. And they each need their own individual forms of love and affection.

When I was thinking of the beautiful miracles Den-Den and Joshua were, I was convicted of something. Each and every single one of the kiddos downstairs is a miracle of God. Each and every single one of them has some sort of disability weather it be physical or mental. Weather it is a cleft foot, blindness, dwarfism, deafness, CP, mental retardation, behavior issues, or learning disabilities. Each and every single one of these children has a disability, but each and every single one of them is their own individual miracle. Every single one of these beautiful children are a creation of our Father. Each and every single one of them is living throughout their disabilities with more joy than so many others who have the fortune of living lives without any sort of frailty.

Each of these kids is a miracle and each one of these kids has their own story. It is my prayer for you that you would one day get to know each of them, or even a kid like them, and you would have your heart captured as mine has already been in these last few weeks.

These kids have taught me more about love than I could ever possibly know. I thought I knew what love was after twenty years through my parents and through my ex-boyfriends and through my relationship with friends and family. But my heart has grown more in these two weeks than I ever knew it could. My heart is full of love for these kids in a way I never thought I could love and I am more grateful for this than I could ever show. I absolutely love these kids and they have my heart.

They challenge me each and every day. There are rough days, believe me, but each day, no matter how tough it is, I can walk around downstairs and see so much joy in those kids eyes and just be filled. I came into this internship thinking that I would be pouring myself out each day to these children. And in many ways I am, but far more than that, the kids of the Miriam Center are pouring into me daily and I am so incredibly blessed by this.

If you would like to know more about how you can help one of these kids from the Miriam Center please consider sponsoring one of these children. It takes a daunting about of funds to look after even one special needs child each month, let alone 46. Fortunately, partial sponsorships are offered and every little bit helps. Please check out the following website to learn more about sponsorship or any one of these beautiful and incredible children!

NWHCM Sponsorship

Toms and Time Off

I have come to find that weekends are something to greatly look forward to here in Haiti. Saturday began with waking up at 6:25 for our 6:30 staff meeting, but still managing to get there on time. I was able to get plenty of sleep that night. It was wonderful!

Saturday morning in the Miriam Center consisted of two teams coming in (Kelsey and Tore’s) to help us clean. We were able to take out all of the kids mattresses in order to bleach and whip each of them down. When then took each of the mattresses upstairs to dry them. It was great to see all of these people willing to help these kids.

It was during this time that Kelsey made quite the comical discovery. While the groups were busy at work getting all the mattresses out of the first room and bringing them into the courtyard, one of our cutest and highest functioning kids, Joseph, had be follow him into the boys room across the way. I thought he was trying to tell me to grab his mattress to which I told him, “pita, Joseph” which means later Joseph in Creole. Turns out this wasn’t what Joseph was wanting to show me. He soon after this brought Kelsey in and showed her his mattress. When he did this, Joseph took the blanket off his bed and revealed to Kelsey that he had stashed scrambled eggs under his blanket from breakfast. Kelsey made him throw these away and Joseph was NOT happy with her at all.

After we finished cleaning the mattresses, Kelsey, Tore and I went upstairs to our girl intern room and had snacks and took a mental and physical break from it all. This was a great time to get to hang out with the two of these lovely girls and just relax and rest for a bit.

After lunch, I was able to go with Kelsey’s group to do hut to huts. I had asked Autumn the night before if there was much going on downstairs in the M.C. the next afternoon. She told me there wasn’t and told me I could go. Thanks so much for letting me if you are reading this Autumn. You’re the best!

During our hut to huts with Kelsey’s group we passed out TOMS. This was such an incredible experience. TOMS donated 30,000 shoes to three different churches within Haiti. NWHCM’s church received a third of these. Many of the sizes of shoes we had left were very small. That was the hardest part: having to tell kids we didn’t have a size big enough. But for the kids we were able to fit for shoes, it was so cool. Plus we were able to pray with many of the kids and families. I was personally able to size a cute little girl named Francilla early on. She then proceeded to hold my hand and follow our group around as we went from hut to hut for the next hour and a half or so. She was so precious!

Passing out TOMS was a super cool blessing for me to be apart of. Having a few pairs of TOMS myself, I always thought it was a really cool company and great thing to support. But I never heard about anyone actually giving out shoes before. So it was incredible to be apart of it. Plus, I had heard rumors that the shoes that they give the kids are of higher quality. This is true. Their TOMS actually have these thick rubber soles. I would highly recommend supporting TOMS. I think they are doing great things. I had always thought the only bad thing about TOMS is that they didn’t spread Christ as well. But they donated their shoes to a church to give away and gave us the chance to enter homes with shoes and then have the chance to pray and preach the Gospel.

Another organization that I support much more than TOMS though is one that is dear to my heart because a few of my friends from A&M actually created it, called Soles for the Savior. They go into countries with shoes, wash the children’s feet and then pray over each one of them. You can check them out here:Soles for the Savior

My Sunday consisted of church and resting. I love the Sabbath day here in Haiti because everyone takes it very seriously here at the mission. We don’t go out except to church and we all have the chance to rest. Today I took a nap and listened to a podcast from the Village Church out of Dallas, Texas on fear and love. The podcast was about how sometimes we do things for the Lord out of fear and reverence rather than out of love for Him and love for His people. It was really great and super convicting because I have found myself doing just that thing at times in my life.

Today as I was laying in my hammock and listening to this podcast I was reminded of a sermon at my church in College Station, New Life. This sermon was out of Exodus and on the importance of the Sabbath. It was super convicting when I first heard it. However I feel like it can be applied even more in Haiti. Here I am waking up at 6:15 every morning (except for Sunday when we get to sleep in for about an hour. TGIS: Thank God it’s Sunday) no matter when I go to bed. And the days are exhausting. I can truly only rely on the Lord for my strength and rest. Sundays are my day of rest, but no matter how restful my Sabbath day can be here or make in the states before I go to class the next day. No matter how rejuvenating and peaceful my Sundays on earth are, the will always end. But they serve as a great reminder of the eternal Sabbath we will one day receive.

Goodnight from Haiti!

”…Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light”

Matthew 11:28-29

You Could Call Me Judge Judy

“For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you.” Matthew 7:2

This was the verse that corresponded to my devotional this morning from My Utmost For His Highest. When I read this I thought to myself: “This is a really great verse, but I don’t know how I would ever apply it to my experiences I’ll have today.” This proved to be one of those moments in life where God clearly says, “Well let me just show you.” And show me he did.

This began at devotionals this morning when Jenielle spoke about how as Christians we always talk about how we desire to be servants of the Lord up until we are actually treated like a servant. Up until things get uncomfortable and hard, that’s when we wish to blend in. This is the point when I began to examine and judge myself. This stood true for me in so many instances throughout my life. There have been countless times that I have wanted to quit or not obey what the Lord was calling me to because things were hard. And there have been times when I haven’t done what I knew was right because I knew it would be uncomfortable. This is the point in the day when I started to judge myself.

Today we took the severe and profound kids to the park in Bonneau. Originally I was anticipating staying behind for an orthopedic team from Port au Praix to fit and size some of our kids for braces and prosthetics. However, they were already more than an hour late as the kids were nearly ready to leave for Bonneau and Autumn informed me that she wasn’t even sure how much she would be involved with the team coming in this morning. She said she would advice going with Heather and the kids to the park. This was the point in my day when I began to judge if this team was really going to even come at all and help our kids or if I would even learn anything from my time at Bonneau since it would be my third time there.

Wrong again my friend.

During my time at Bonneau I learned a lot. For one thing, I realized how much I have come to criticize the Americans who come in on different groups. For instance today at the playground, one of the girls had Niaka, was being held by a girl who was in Tore’s group. It was during a time when Heather had passed out cups of Pedia Light combined with thickened water to each of the severe and profound kids (Niaka being one of these). The girl who was trying to get her to drink commented to me on how she was having trouble drinking from the cup. I told her that she typically eats from a syringe, so it would probably be a little difficult for her to drink it, but she could if given carefully. After about ten minutes I looked back over and noticed that this poor girl had given up on trying to get Niaka to drink. She commented to be again, that she seemed to have a hard time drinking. It was then in my head that I thought to myself, “NO DUH! I already told you she had to be fed from a syringe! What on earth did you expect!” But just as soon as I thought this, I realized there may have been a chance she didn’t hear my the first time, and even if she did, then maybe she hasn’t ever worked with kids with special needs before. I had immediately judged her to be incompetent without even knowing this girls name. That was foolish and selfish and judgmental of me.

It was also during our time at Bonneau today that I completely misjudged the people of Bonneau. Every time we have gone so far to the playground, the people of Bonneau with kids have never really used the playground when our special kids have been on it. In fact, today, they just stood in a line and starred at us. All the white people with the severe and profound special needs children. During this time, a woman started to shout in Creole and had a very angry look on her face. I thought that she was made that our kids were playing on the playground. I automatically judged and accused this woman of judging our kids without even knowing what she was saying. As she continued to yell some of our Haitian staff began to shout back at her. Heather, then pulled all of them aside and talked it out. Turns out, one of our kids threw water on her son and then our Haitian staff was getting defensive about it when she said something to one of them. So even though she was amongst the group who was standing their watching our special kids play from a safe distance, I had judged her so badly to the point that when other Americans in the group I was with had asked me if I knew what was going on, “I told them I assumed she was upset that our kids where there.” I had possibly even caused others to criticize her as well. This was not the case at all, but it is what I just believed she was thinking due to type of person I automatically assumed her to be.

After Bonneau we came back to the mission. I was able to eat lunch and do Outreach. Today I was actually able to lead the first part of Outreach all by myself (with a translator of course) because Autumn needed to finish feeding a few of the kids. This was so great! Once Outreach was done, I went upstairs to market day. Today I ran into one of the bracelet bandits(boys who stand outside the mission gate and ask every single white person that walks by if they would like to buy a bracelet from them) I had bought a few from yesterday. His name is Karby. The day before yesterday I had seen him in the Miriam Center and I thought he was just down there to pester Americans into buying is bracelets (wrong again). Turns out, his mom works in the Miriam Center. I was able to talk to him for a bit yesterday after getting my bracelets from him. I thought that he had not enjoyed the conversation and wasn’t sure if I would see him again now that I had bought bracelets from Him. Wrong again (you would think I would learn). Turns out I saw him today at market day where he was selling some things. I fact, he cut the price for me on something I wanted to buy for a friend back home and said, “Ally, I sell this to you for cheap since we are friends.” What?!? Please be praying for Karby, his family, his relationship with the Lord, and the time I hope I get to spend investing in his life in the future weeks to come.

This evening as been so great! We actually had a really fantastic dinner! And I had a candy bar and loads of water. It was tonight while writing this blog that Autumn came up to be and informed me that one of the water bottles I had lost was in fact in Heather’s room. I had assumed that one of the kids had taken it. Wrong again!

I have come to realize that these will not be the only times that I will be wrong. In fact, I will be wrong a ton because I have a sinful and dark heart. But there is hope. I have the hope of the Lord and the Holy Spirit in me. And while I may still be human and will be wrong and will judge people. Today I learned a lot about this and was convicted greatly by this. I am a sinner. I am a judger. I am a critic. I am an ill-hearted individual. But I am also wiped clean. I am redeemed. I am transformed. I am forgiven. I am a daughter of the King of kings.

AND SO IS EACH AND EVERY PERSON THAT I JUDGED TODAY.

Therefore you have no excuse, O man, every one of you who judges. For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, practice the very same things. We know that the judgment of God rightly falls on those who practice such things. Do you suppose, O man—you who judge those who practice such things and yet do them yourself—that you will escape the judgment of God?

Romans 2:1-3

I Swallowed a Fly

”There was an old lady who swallowed a fly.

I don’t know why she swallowed a fly.

Perhaps she will die."

These are the beginning lines of one of my favorite songs from my childhood. Mainly I think because of how ridiculous it is. I mean who would possibly swallow all of those other things just because of a fly. Thinking back on this now though, I realize that this childhood song is a great example of cause and effect. I mean, the only reason this old lady swallowed the cow was because of the goat. And the reason for eating the goat was the dog. And before the dog was the cat which followed the bird. And the only reason for swallowing the bird was the fly. The fly was what started if all off (and perhaps the woman being completely insane). But, for the purpose of my overall thoughts of today, the whole thing began with the fly: cause and effect.

Ultimately it all began with my morning. My coffee this morning had peppermint mocha powdered creamer in it. Back in the states I would have HATED powdered creamer. But here it isn’t so bad. And the peppermint was an added bonus. Even though it was oatmeal for breakfast this morning, it was still alright and I managed to eat it all anyway. After breakfast I had a really fantastic quiet time. I mean, one of the absolute best I have had since I have been here.

My great morning in preparation for my day resulted in me going downstairs to begin my time in the Miriam Center in an awesome way. This morning we had Kelly’s group from California come down to help us out in the M.C. We were able to finish feeding breakfast to all of the kids and then split them up into two groups. One group of the higher functioning kids went into the preschool classroom while the other group hung out in the sensory room. During this time we played music, danced, did massaging and prayed over the kids. I loved this time, and even though it was a bit unorganized, since it was the first time we have done this, it was great because each kid was able to receive special one on one time with someone. This resulted in people later playing with more of the severe and profound kids, which has been our goal for a long time!

This fantastic morning resulted in me being all the more motivated going into lunch. Today I fed one of the hardest girls with CP who has to use a syringe. It was messy, but the two of use managed to finish her whole bowl of blended beans and rice. Way to go Niaka! I am so proud of you and I love you so much!

My awesome time spent feeding Niaka was impacted even more, when my spirits where lifted half way through our meal when Autumn came by to talk to me. She mentioned that they were serving beans and rice again upstairs for breakfast and asked me if I would like an EasyMac instead. We had talked before about how you seem to crave things you would never truly desire back home. So yes. Yes I definitely did really really want an EasyMac this afternoon. And let me tell you, this fresh out of the microwave meal was absolutely delicious next to my coke today.

My fantastic lunch caused me to agree to go back downstairs with Autumn to hang out in Heater’s room while she fed Sandley. Both Heather and Stephanie were hanging out in there as well (this is mostly because Heather has a really comfy bed to sit on and her room is air conditioned. Great place to relax in! During this time, the four of us talked about Miriam Center stuff and ate carrots and chocolate covered pretzels which were completely perfect considering the only thing I was worried about in terms of the EasyMac was that I would not be completely full, so this worked out perfect! This was also a great time to hang out with these three amazing women and get to hear their hearts for these children, this ministry and the Lord. Plus, it was great to get to spend time in the air conditioning and it was a great mental and physical break!

This reboost caused me to be completely reenergized and ready to pour out for the rest of my day! After this mini relaxation Autumn and I went over to Outreach. It was so great because Prezido, the Haitian employee Autumn has been training, agreed to take over and teach the first part of today’s session, which allowed Autumn and I to have this time to rest! This afternoon the two of us both took kids out to Outreach to model the last half. I took Niaka! She did great and I loved being able to spend even more time with her. I have really enjoyed this time each day and I love the fact that I am starting to really get to know these kids and their parents. This is also one of my favorite parts of this ministry because it is so sustainable and encourages families to raise their kids, even with special needs in their own homes and within their loving familes!

My great time in Outreach carried over to the rest of my afternoon. Once we had finished cleaning up after therapy, Autumn asked me if I would like to help her love and serve the Haitian workers by giving them each a back massage. Our staff works so incredibly hard and I absolutely loved this idea, so I eagerly agreed without hesitation. The two of us managed to massage each of these amazing women. I think that they really enjoyed this and I hope that we were able to serve them well and thank them well for all their hard work!

As we were waiting for some of the employees to finish a few of their daily duties at the Miriam Center, I was able to spend some time with Carlos. This was great. Carlos is one of the highest functioning kids in our program and can be quite the handful. I think of all our 46 kids, Carlos is the one who gets in trouble the most. I will admit, there have been a few days so far that this kid has slightly annoyed me. However, today I just got to tickle and laugh with him in the bird cage. It was really fun and I even was able to take a video, even though I seriously doubt I will be able to upload it until I get home. But just wait, its hilarious!

I believe that this time throughout the afternoon of thanking our staff is what caused one of the most uplifting parts of my day. It was after we had finished massaging each of the women that I was soon signaled through hang motions (there is definitely a language barrier between myself and the workers since I am still working on learning Creole) into the kitchen. The kitchen staff was working on preparing dinner. It was when I arrived in the kitchen, that since they realized that Autumn was busy talking with one of the Americans from the groups, they had asked ME to help them blend the food properly. This blew me away. It was at this moment that I realized that the women here have come to recognize that I will be sticking around for a while and more importantly, that they trust me in knowing what I am doing to help these kids (including not just therapy, but in food prep). It was one of the most encouraging things that has happened since I have been here.

As I thought back to the events that unfolded throughout my day today, I realized that each one of them had effected the other. If it weren’t for my great morning, I would not have felt as good about my day going into lunch. And if it hadn’t been for the group (even though I haven’t decided how I feel about groups yet) that brought in the EasyMac for Autumn I would not have felt as good about going downstairs to hang out with the M.C ladies more in Heather’s room, and Presido taking over the first half of therapy for Autumn possibly lead to her feeling energized enough to choose to minister to the Haitian staff, and the amount of time I have spent in the Miriam Center loving on these kids and ministering to the staff today more than likely lead to them trusting me enough to help prepare dinner tonight.

Today I swallowed my own fly, and I know exactly why. Everything leads to another. It’s kind of crazy to think about. Our entire lives are a series of cause and effects. Don’t think about it too much or it might be overwhelming. The one thing I have come to realize while reflecting on these thoughts today has been how thankful I am that I’m not the one ultimately in control of all of these results and impacts. I so thankful for the effects the Lord has allowed me to have in my life today. And because of this, I can’t wait to see the results of tomorrow! Good night from Haiti!

Prayer Requests:

Continued Energy

A few of our kids down in the Miriam Center our sick

The Barnes family adjusting to their new home

Autumn’s staph infection

Thank you all so much for your continuous prayers and support! I love you all so much!

This is a verse on the wall inside the Miriam Center and I absolutely love it:

“I’ll convert their weeping into laughter, lavishing comfort and invading their grief with joy.”

Jeremiah 31:13