...Love

Sunday mornings = sleeping in. And by sleeping in, I woke up at 8:05 instead of 6:25 this morning, which for the majority of you reading this, would be 7:05 Texas time. Even with the close to two hour addition to my normal sleep schedule, I probably didn’t gain much considering that Kelsey, Logan and I spent quite a while talking in the staff lounge after the generator had gone out last night. I would take this conversation any day compared to extra sleep though. The three of us where able to talk about how we felt our time here so far had gone, what we would like to change, the positives and negatives of the mission, how the short term groups both helped and hurt, what we believed true reform for Haiti would look like and where we felt the Lord was calling us. I can’t tell you how blessed I was by the conversation. The thing that I keep thinking about though from this talk was that even with the wide range of subjects within our broad conversation, the subject matter always came back to Jesus and how He would serve the people of Haiti. It always came back to the importance of the Truth of the Gospel. I pray that in my last few days to come here in Haiti that I will be able to have more conversations like this, but mostly, I pray that when I return home from Haiti and begin telling each of you about my trip, that everything I did here will always come back to the Truth. After all, the whole reason I came here was to be Jesus to the kids of the Miriam Center, so if I can tell you all about my trip and not mention Jesus, His saving grace, and His love then I have failed.

Even with the not so extra sleep I typically look forward to on my Sabbath’s here in Haiti, it was still a fantastic day overall. This week marked our second week of CMC (Church of the Miriam Center) and it went just as well, if not better than last week’s. Today we were able to have a group (Caitlin’s group that I went with yesterday along with Morgan) come down to help us. We sang a handful of songs (both in Creole and English) and then Papito gave a message from Proverbs 1:1-12. Even though I have no idea what he was saying because I really need to work on improving my Creole, Caitlin (who has been interning here for the last 3 years) said that he did a great job. Papito apparently would read each verse and then break it down to make in applicable to the Miriam Center, the kids and the workers. After this message from Papito, we sang a couple more songs (one which Steven helped to lead in sign language) before closing out in prayer. I have come to absolutely love the Church of the Miriam Center in the last two weeks. It just really seems to fill such a need for the kids and the staff. Before this it was such a struggle to get all of the kids ready for church in the morning for the Americans to take across the street, and then figure out which workers were going to stay behind to take care of the kids who can’t go. Another great example of way CMC is feeling such a need for these kids, last week Owen’s had a seizure in the classroom here at the CMC. Shelly was able to be right there for him and everything was totally fine. Today a few young American girls took Roselore across the street to Big Church. She had a seizure over there. Thank the Lord Tore’s mom was sitting near by. She is a pediatrician who was able to handle things well and get Roselore back over to Shelly at the Miriam Center. I feel like if we are able to continue Church of the Miriam Center in the weeks and months to come that it could benefit not only the children but the staff as well.

When we had finished with our church service this morning. The Haitian staff went into the kitchen to help finish preparing lunch while all the kids stayed in the classroom to watch a Biblical TV show called Dr. Wonder’s Workshop. I think the kids really enjoy watching this, which is good since it has some Biblical context and uses sign language all throughout the show. This is really beneficial to kids like Steven, Jean and Kim.

Lunch was a little crazy since we didn’t have too many Americans to help feed since so many of them were still over at big church. I definitely was reminded of the help that they can be. However, I have also seen the patience that the Lord has blessed me with the last several weeks in terms of feeding. With the group of Americans we have now, and for many of the teams that we have had so far this summer, if it takes longer than 15 minutes to feed a child, they start asking questions, think something is wrong, or just simply give up. I think that in the beginning of my internship this summer I was very similar to this myself. However, I feel like the Lord has certainly grown me in my patience not only for the fact that many of our kids can take 30-45 minutes to feed, but also in realizing that the Americans will ask a ton of questions, think they are doing something wrong, or simply give up because they are not used to this and don’t feed kids with special needs everyday. Thank you Lord for showing me this. I certainly pray that I can carry this over to other aspects of my life.

As we were finishing up the last kids to feed, initially Autumn, Heather and I thought that we were going to go to the restaurant at the hotel for lunch. So, I went up to the my room to grab a quick snack of a handful of Goldfish and cookies to hold me over.

However, when I walked back down to the M.C. I was met my Autumn who informed me that we were going to go for dinner instead. So, I ate lunch here at the mission instead. It was a stew today with different types of noodles and dumplings. I am not a huge fan of this meal and was reminded of the few perks of heading back to the states in a few days: fruits, veggies, Starbucks, ice cream, milk, cheese, yogurt, burgers, donuts, salads, sushi, chicken salad, Cheese Its, Oreo’s, shakes, ICE, cold drinks of any kind, and Dr. Pepper. I think that it will take me many, many months until I am ready for beans, rice, oat meal or stew again. Many, many months. 

I was able to take some time this afternoon between lunch and about two to listen to a podcast on my Itouch and take a little bit of some down time to myself. I liked this for two reasons. For one thing I was able to listen to a church service in English. I think the hardest thing about being here in Haiti is how hard it is to be spiritually fed myself at times due to the lack of a true English church service. Second, I loved this because here it can be hard to find time to myself during the day. This allowed me to just lay out on my hammock and think to myself. It was nice. This was a fantastic way to spend the afternoon of my Sabbath if I do say so myself.

Soon after walking back down to the common area after my awesome nap and podcast time, I found Kelsey and Melissa sitting outside the staff lounge. Melissa has been trying to learn to play the guitar, so Kelsey and I sang a few worship while she played. It was great. During this time, Autumn came up to be and said, “remember that time we are in Haiti? Well we are going to dinner at 3:30 now.” So off to the restaurant we soon went.

I had been looking forward to this time for about a week now. Originally we were going to try to head up to eat there last Saturday, but all the interns ended up going for Logan’s birthday. I knew that when we went it would be a lot of fun, but I didn’t realize just how much I would enjoy it. It had never really hit me that in the five weeks I have been here the three of us have never had the time to sit down and talk outside of the Miriam Center. Thinking about this seems pretty crazy and can also give you a bit of insight into just how crazy our days here at the Miriam Center can be. These two women are such Godly ladies and have poured into me so much during my time here. This afternoon was so great to get to hear more about their hearts for these kids and this ministry. They asked me several questions including what my favorite memories where from my time here so far. I answered seeing Joshua feed Kelsey popcorn earlier this week, taking Berto and Niaka to Bonneau, Tuesday and Thursday mornings in the Sensory classroom, and discovering that Joseph was stockpiling eggs under his blanket. They also inquired about what I think I learned from being here to which I responded patience. I truly believe I have learned so much about patience both for these kids and those who volunteer to help them.

Our time at the restaurant was such a blessing and beautiful time for me. Autumn had told me earlier that they both wanted this to be a time for them to celebrate me as the Miriam Center intern. At dinner today, Heather had said once again how Shelly had told her she was going to miss me and that she loved having me here; how all the staff loved me. Autumn told me how she had loved reading the few blogs of mine she had time to read so far and couldn’t wait to get back to the states to read the others. This meal was such an encouragement to me. I felt so poured into by these two and have felt this way for the last 5 weeks. I absolutely love these two women and will miss them both dearly.

As we were getting ready to leave, Autumn excused herself for a few minutes to go to the bathroom. While she was gone, Heather mentioned something that struck me. For a while during our meal she had mentioned how she had yet to post a single blog for the three months she has been here. In the brief time Autumn was gone to try and find a bathroom, Heather said something about the lines of how she had no idea what she would talk about in her blog. She could talk about what all the needs of the Miriam Center were, or try to talk about all the great things she had seen but mainly all she could think about was how in the end she would just have to sum it up with “...Love” and go from there.

But as we were walking back down the mountain from the restaurant I was thinking about how true this really is. If I could sum up my time here in the Miriam Center it would be …Love. If you think about it, I can go on trips to Bonneau, I can give kids water to drink, I can help fed kids, I can give kids massages, I can help Isaac blow his nose, and I can hold Berto in my arms. But eventually there will be another trip to Bonneau that I can’t be here for, and those same kids I give water to will become thirsty again, another meal time will come and kids will need to be fed, hands will be in need for massages in another week, Isaac’s nose will continue to run, and Berto will need someone else to hold him while I am gone. Many of the things that I have done of these kids are all fleeting. But I can love them like Jesus has called me to love and that’s lasting. Love is the only thing that I can give this kids that will last. Love is the only thing that I can truly show these kids that will matter because in the end it doesn’t matter if these kids go to the playground, are hydrated, feed, have muscles that are relaxed, don’t have boogers running down their face, or are comfortable in someone’s arms if they don’t know what love is.

And yet I am human so the only way that I can earnestly love these kids is through the power of Jesus. So, if I can’t tell you about my trip without mentioning Jesus and his love and grace then I have failed. And if I can’t walk away from the Miriam Center on Wednesday feeling like I have loved these kids the way that the Lord has called me to, being a true example of Jesus’s love and grace then I have failed.

Good news is, at the moment I feel like I can walk away knowing that I have poured myself out 100%. I can leave here knowing that I did exactly what the Lord is calling me to. But ultimately I can leave here, knowing that I did just what I was suppose to, but that my work here still isn’t done just yet.

“For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.” Galatians 5:13