Innocence

July 3rd

Innocence. The definitions of this word (as stated by Google) are: 1. The state, quality, or fact of being innocent of a crime or offense. 2. Lack of guile or corruption; purity. 3. freedom from guilt or sin through being unacquainted with evil

Today I thought a lot about this for many different reasons, some growing and some trying.

My morning started off not so hot. I have started to feel really sick lately. Just stuffy nose, headache, and sore throat. I assumed that it was just allergies at first, but now if I am not on a regular regime of Ibuprofen I start to feel a little achy. PLEASE. PLEASE be praying for this. I would rather not have to spend my last week here away from the lovely Miriam Center kids and in bed. It would suck and I am going to try to do my absolute best to get better! But I could certainly use some prayer in this regard.

Because of this I had an AWFUL nights sleep. Probably my worst since being here. I woke up really tired, but was determined not to let these allergies get me down. We as interns spend the morning in staff meetings and at breakfast before heading up for our skit at orientation.

I will tell you due to the lack of time we had to go through and practice the skit, I was a little apprehensive about how this was going to go. Turns out it was great and I think that all of the group members really enjoyed it.. Melonee was laughing so hard that she was crying. We did pretty great I’d say. To show that it was really important to stay hydrated I had to pour water all over myself, which resulted in it later looking like I had peed my pants. So I went back to the room to change really quick. Overall though, I think the skit was certainly a success! Americans (and Canadians) were coming up to us and telling us what a great job we did.

Soon after this Autumn and I began to sort through supplies that people had brought in specifically for the Miriam Center. The groups lay everything out on tables and as Autumn mentioned, walking down the rows of tables was likely the closest we would feel while in Haiti to shopping at Walmart. We were able to get some really awesome supplies for the kids downstairs though and Outreach! It was definitely came at a much needed time as Autumn had just been informed that earlier that morning we were running low on peanut butter which is something that the kids eat daily. However, now there are countless jars of peanut butter stocked up downstairs. Praise God!

Upon completing this we headed back down into the Miriam Center to help out with the severe and profound preschool. I hung out a lot with Berto and Gildine. This time has always been so precious to me. It allows me to just spend some quality times with each of the kids. About an hour or so after being down there though it was time for lunch. With groups here this process goes by so much faster and I am so thankful for it!

In the afternoon Autumn and I were able to make some bags to bless the Outreach families with. This bags included a lot of supplies we had gathered this morning including travel sided lotion bottles to help with massages at homes, anti-bacterial soap, tissues, body wash, wet wipes, crackers, granola bars, baby spoons, tooth paste and both an adult and kids size tooth brushes. I can’t wait to be able to see a few of these given out next week!

By the time we had finished the bags and gone back downstairs the groups that we helping with feedings at already accomplished feeding ALL of the severe and profound kids! Every single one of them. There was nothing for me to do except syringe feed Dersen, which none of the Americans in the group would have known how to do anyway. It was certainly a nice break from the last few days here.

At devos tonight is where it hit me hard today. My friend Lisa (also an intern here) shared a story that happened to her today in the clinic. She had been really upset and talked about it to me and a few of the other girl interns today during lunch. A 9 year old girl had been brought in to the clinic this morning by her mother. Apparently she had been living with her aunt because her mom didn’t have a job for a while, but had just moved back in a few days ago. The mom brought her in to the clinic when she noticed some scares, tears and lacerations on the lower half of her body. Lisa had to stand in front of a woman today and inform her that her sweet little girl had been raped. At nine years old. Lisa said that at this the woman collapsed into her arms and started screaming, “that’s my baby girl! I love her! I love her! That’s my baby girl! I love her! I love her!” Hearing this news from Lisa today at lunch made me so sad in a lot of ways. This little girl apparently had no joy in her eyes and would not speak to anyone about what happened. Nine years old. A loss of innocence. Innocence. Lost.

This story of this little girl also made me angry. I wanted justice for this little girl so badly. I wanted who ever did this to her to be charged and sentenced for what they had done. They deserved to pay for their actions. The hurt and pain they had caused this little girl. The innocence they had stolen. The sin they had committed. This was a slap in the face as well for me today (Thanks God for the awesome lesson). I can not judge this man for his actions. Yes he should pay for the hurt that he has caused this little angel, but I have caused others grief just the same. He may have committed a sin, but I too have sinned against others. Obviously there is a large psychological and moral difference between rape and the things that I have done. And in no way am I trying to undermined what happened to her. But I realized that I am not free from sin either. I have lied to my parents, I have done awful things that have hurt people, I have envied and gossiped, I have called people awful names and driven over the speed limit. I am NOT innocent.

And to be honest. None of us are. We are not innocent. We are sinful. But thankfully we have a loving God who gave his one and only Son to redeem us and wash us clean. He offers us the breath of life and the hope of eternity with him. I can only hope and pray that this little girl from today knows the Lord. I pray that she and her mother may one day be able to find redemption in the Lord. And that He would wash away their grief and replace it with joy. That He would use this horrific thing that happened to her when she was young for good.

And I can tell you He already has. Lisa has been considering moving to Haiti to practice missionary medicine for about three years now. When Sinclair had asked her earlier this week what experience had lead her to feel that the Lord was calling her to move to Haiti, Lisa had told him it was more of just a bunch of little things. However, tonight she spoke of how she knew that the Lord was now certainly calling her to move to Haiti for this. So that she can minister to mom’s in times of grief, and comfort little girls when they are so afraid. I am thankful for the call that He has placed on Lisa’s life and I ask that you would continue to pray for her as well as she begins the transition process into this, especially with the blessing of her parents to go.

Lisa ended her testimony at devotionals tonight by saying. I couldn’t help but think later, remembering the events of this afternoon with this mother screaming, “That’s my baby girl! I love her!” that this is exactly what God would likely say about any of us! “That’s my baby girl! I love her! That’s my baby boy! I love him!” We have a God who loves us, no matter how much innocence we have lost. He loves us and will redeem us. We are his babies and He loves us!

“that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world,” Philippians 2:15