You Could Call Me Judge Judy

“For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you.” Matthew 7:2

This was the verse that corresponded to my devotional this morning from My Utmost For His Highest. When I read this I thought to myself: “This is a really great verse, but I don’t know how I would ever apply it to my experiences I’ll have today.” This proved to be one of those moments in life where God clearly says, “Well let me just show you.” And show me he did.

This began at devotionals this morning when Jenielle spoke about how as Christians we always talk about how we desire to be servants of the Lord up until we are actually treated like a servant. Up until things get uncomfortable and hard, that’s when we wish to blend in. This is the point when I began to examine and judge myself. This stood true for me in so many instances throughout my life. There have been countless times that I have wanted to quit or not obey what the Lord was calling me to because things were hard. And there have been times when I haven’t done what I knew was right because I knew it would be uncomfortable. This is the point in the day when I started to judge myself.

Today we took the severe and profound kids to the park in Bonneau. Originally I was anticipating staying behind for an orthopedic team from Port au Praix to fit and size some of our kids for braces and prosthetics. However, they were already more than an hour late as the kids were nearly ready to leave for Bonneau and Autumn informed me that she wasn’t even sure how much she would be involved with the team coming in this morning. She said she would advice going with Heather and the kids to the park. This was the point in my day when I began to judge if this team was really going to even come at all and help our kids or if I would even learn anything from my time at Bonneau since it would be my third time there.

Wrong again my friend.

During my time at Bonneau I learned a lot. For one thing, I realized how much I have come to criticize the Americans who come in on different groups. For instance today at the playground, one of the girls had Niaka, was being held by a girl who was in Tore’s group. It was during a time when Heather had passed out cups of Pedia Light combined with thickened water to each of the severe and profound kids (Niaka being one of these). The girl who was trying to get her to drink commented to me on how she was having trouble drinking from the cup. I told her that she typically eats from a syringe, so it would probably be a little difficult for her to drink it, but she could if given carefully. After about ten minutes I looked back over and noticed that this poor girl had given up on trying to get Niaka to drink. She commented to be again, that she seemed to have a hard time drinking. It was then in my head that I thought to myself, “NO DUH! I already told you she had to be fed from a syringe! What on earth did you expect!” But just as soon as I thought this, I realized there may have been a chance she didn’t hear my the first time, and even if she did, then maybe she hasn’t ever worked with kids with special needs before. I had immediately judged her to be incompetent without even knowing this girls name. That was foolish and selfish and judgmental of me.

It was also during our time at Bonneau today that I completely misjudged the people of Bonneau. Every time we have gone so far to the playground, the people of Bonneau with kids have never really used the playground when our special kids have been on it. In fact, today, they just stood in a line and starred at us. All the white people with the severe and profound special needs children. During this time, a woman started to shout in Creole and had a very angry look on her face. I thought that she was made that our kids were playing on the playground. I automatically judged and accused this woman of judging our kids without even knowing what she was saying. As she continued to yell some of our Haitian staff began to shout back at her. Heather, then pulled all of them aside and talked it out. Turns out, one of our kids threw water on her son and then our Haitian staff was getting defensive about it when she said something to one of them. So even though she was amongst the group who was standing their watching our special kids play from a safe distance, I had judged her so badly to the point that when other Americans in the group I was with had asked me if I knew what was going on, “I told them I assumed she was upset that our kids where there.” I had possibly even caused others to criticize her as well. This was not the case at all, but it is what I just believed she was thinking due to type of person I automatically assumed her to be.

After Bonneau we came back to the mission. I was able to eat lunch and do Outreach. Today I was actually able to lead the first part of Outreach all by myself (with a translator of course) because Autumn needed to finish feeding a few of the kids. This was so great! Once Outreach was done, I went upstairs to market day. Today I ran into one of the bracelet bandits(boys who stand outside the mission gate and ask every single white person that walks by if they would like to buy a bracelet from them) I had bought a few from yesterday. His name is Karby. The day before yesterday I had seen him in the Miriam Center and I thought he was just down there to pester Americans into buying is bracelets (wrong again). Turns out, his mom works in the Miriam Center. I was able to talk to him for a bit yesterday after getting my bracelets from him. I thought that he had not enjoyed the conversation and wasn’t sure if I would see him again now that I had bought bracelets from Him. Wrong again (you would think I would learn). Turns out I saw him today at market day where he was selling some things. I fact, he cut the price for me on something I wanted to buy for a friend back home and said, “Ally, I sell this to you for cheap since we are friends.” What?!? Please be praying for Karby, his family, his relationship with the Lord, and the time I hope I get to spend investing in his life in the future weeks to come.

This evening as been so great! We actually had a really fantastic dinner! And I had a candy bar and loads of water. It was tonight while writing this blog that Autumn came up to be and informed me that one of the water bottles I had lost was in fact in Heather’s room. I had assumed that one of the kids had taken it. Wrong again!

I have come to realize that these will not be the only times that I will be wrong. In fact, I will be wrong a ton because I have a sinful and dark heart. But there is hope. I have the hope of the Lord and the Holy Spirit in me. And while I may still be human and will be wrong and will judge people. Today I learned a lot about this and was convicted greatly by this. I am a sinner. I am a judger. I am a critic. I am an ill-hearted individual. But I am also wiped clean. I am redeemed. I am transformed. I am forgiven. I am a daughter of the King of kings.

AND SO IS EACH AND EVERY PERSON THAT I JUDGED TODAY.

Therefore you have no excuse, O man, every one of you who judges. For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, practice the very same things. We know that the judgment of God rightly falls on those who practice such things. Do you suppose, O man—you who judge those who practice such things and yet do them yourself—that you will escape the judgment of God?

Romans 2:1-3